DETERMINED TO WIN THROUGH

Following on from yesterday's post I am admitting there are times when I am scared stiff of sliding into depression. All the signs are there but I'm determine to stay drug free. Not because I'm ashamed but because I have many techniques I can use to get through the bad patches. So far the bad times have only lasted a few hours or days at the most. But I see the signs of something a lot more chronic. Not wanting to face up to things, finding ways to hide within myself and shutting out the people around me and not being able to get jobs done in a timely fashion is typical for me. I am also nervous and jumpy and little things can trigger a reaction of dread. This is not me. I'm like a gun shy horse, on edge all the time.

All of this has little to do with weight loss although I do admit to a little frisson of joy when there is a decent number.

No! Not at all. The last few years have been full of one thing or another. Some days I get angry because I am trying to cope with "stuff" at this stage of our lives. Some "stuff" is the result of our own choices but by far the worst has come from situations we have been thrust into and have no control over. 

I don't like complaining. It's a fruitless exercise. Feeling sorry for myself creeps through the door.

One of the best solutions is to get myself into nutritional ketosis. When those numbers are good my brain is much happier and stronger. I worry less. In fact all things that are bothering me become mole hills rather than mountains.

I have not been testing daily for quite a while and maybe that's a mistake. Maybe I should do a fasting test, just for the sake of being consistent, until I get good numbers for 3 days in a row. After that I will go back to weekly tests since the cost of strips is becoming a bit too expensive.

To this end I restricted my calories today to 1050
Carbs were a little high at 31 gm. Protein 30 gm and Fats 91 gm.

I began the day with keto coffee and had egg and celery salad for lunch. Tonight I had a berry smoothie and a plate of dessert with strawberries, dates, almonds and whipped cream.

Dates are a bit of a risk when it comes to a ketogenic diet but I need something to keep me regular and dried figs, plums or dates are the only things I have found to work safely.

It's raining. I guess we are catching up on after an extra dry spring. There's something cosy about being comfortable inside while the rain falls steadily outside.